Really?
I ask

Is this
what we are doing?

Each layer
it’s own inquiry
revealing and concealing 
communities of faces
gathered
in untold places
unfurling from within
the depths

of a brand new land
a not yet complete story
running on the juice
of an unfurling whim
… just like this thing called life

Do not fall in love
too soon
cries the nonchalance 
let go
lest you cling
to the realms in the layers
that came before
for they will trap you
in the space between
what is
not
yet

You will miss out
on the something special
that is still emerging
if you stay just here
… get out of your way
take the next step

Layer upon layer
of paint
in pursuit
of what?
I ask

Can you trust
the step you are in?
the conversation
you are having?
how deep
you can listen?

So I ask
the canvas
who said I am Sam
what it wants

And he says
listen
respond
then ask again
wash
rinse
repeat
until my talking stops
journey complete
start again
new canvas
new tale
to be told
another conversation
to be had
something else will find you
once I’m gone

Oh to be
so fucking bold
to trust
each painting
it’s own relating
pouring through
in conversation with
something far deeper
than this one
who is holding the brush

So now
buried hidden
in the layers
are the faces
that revealed themselves
only to be consumed
by this one
devouring the deluge
of all that came before
somehow certain
that it must encompass 
the intricate detail
and subtle emergence 
of blatant waste
just
to get 
to
this 
the evolving face
that houses
whole communities
consumed in the notion
that to trust
the spark within
will lead you
to the creative power
of something so profound
you can only grasp it
once you are there
and yet
somehow
it was here all along

In this evolving face
the conversation
deepened
again

Each painting experience 
a new conversation
teaching me
that doubt and discovery
walk the journey with me
that it’s not me
who’s painting
but that something
inside me
knows what it’s doing
and when I get out of it’s way
it shows me
what it wants
and tells me
how to do it
how to paint
how to live
where to be
who I really am
and what I’m really capable of
when I let go
of the limitation
I was led to believe was true

So more than learning how to paint
I’m learning how to listen
to that deepest place
from which I unfurl
natural as nature itself
the theme of each piece
the conversation
I had to have
to find it
the conversation
I had to have
to know the next step
the conversation
I had to have
with life itself
to know who I answer to
and where I really belong

Thank you Sam
for showing me
who I really am
by your insisting
on being YOU

.

April 2024

Carmel Boone