Cover me in orange⁣

cries the canvas ⁣

from within my heart⁣

.⁣

.⁣

.⁣

In the silence ⁣

of a vast blankness ⁣

I am schlepped ⁣

through the portal ⁣

of my heart⁣

into a land ⁣

I’ve not dared tread ⁣

till now⁣

… till now

when my babe

just four⁣ years old

has travelled 6,000 miles

away

with his daddy

my estranged

lost

love

through the confusion

of a world waking

to a wondrous upheaval

dismantling

everything we know

inside

and out

Where this will go⁣

I have no idea⁣

⁣

What I will find within me⁣

only the painting knows⁣

All I feel

is pain

loss

fear

and a deeper voice

telling me

the right thing

is always happening

the answer is

in what you are doing

keep going

you are nature

unfurling

⁣

Whether I can do this⁣

I doubt⁣

(but that doesn’t matter

doubting doesn’t know anything)

⁣

All I know ⁣

is that it is not ⁣

that lost

doubting “I”⁣

who holds the brush ⁣

calls the colors forth ⁣

guides the way ⁣

⁣

Led⁣

from within⁣ the letting go

the painting ⁣

paints itself ⁣

just so far⁣

showing me ⁣

how to wade through the fear

I thought was too thick

how to use the brushes ⁣

I thought were too big⁣

then⁣

lesson over⁣

it un-paints itself⁣

and starts again⁣

and again⁣

testing my resolve ⁣

to trust ⁣

it’s silent ways⁣

to see it’s patterns

through the portals

we traverse

into our future

rewriting

our

self

⁣

“I”

had an idea in mind ⁣

which didn’t look like this⁣

but I’d never

felt like this before

Impulses ⁣

within silence ⁣

lead the way ⁣

and bit by bit ⁣

a portal appears⁣

beckoning me through ⁣

⁣

Trusting the vocal silence ⁣

I close the door ⁣

on all the things

erupting in my ears

hurting my heart⁣

burning my boundaries

annulling my natural nature

and quickly ⁣

so many new doors ⁣

fly open ⁣

and so much ⁣

of who I have become ⁣

unravel ⁣

to reveal ⁣

the me ⁣

I was ⁣

all along ⁣

.⁣

.⁣

.⁣

It was time ⁣

to trust ⁣

the next step ⁣

for that is from where ⁣

the next step ⁣

always comes⁣

and sometimes

just one step

is all you get

and all you can do

is trust

the next

will

come

⁣

And so⁣

my Artist journey⁣

began

with this first step

⁣the day my baby

flew away

This

was my⁣

iNiTiATiON⁣

Cover me in orange⁣

cried the canvas ⁣

from within my heart⁣

⁣

Well ok then ⁣

and so it began…